Weddings

Saturday we went to a wedding. I never knew I would come to hate them. I used to love them. Now all I can think is what a huge waste of time and money. They probably won't last and if they do they probably won't be happy. Then Sunday in church his mom had a praise report in church about their wedding anniversary, 35 years. The same woman that has had a part in ruining my life and marriage is actually happy about being married? And to someone that cheated also? I know he was talking to some woman. Not sure how far it went but still. How can you thank God for that but force your own son to get married to someone he doesn't want to, and then attack him when he does the same thing your own husband does? I hate people in love.

When I said those vows on our wedding day I meant them.  I intend to follow through on the til death do us part. I'm not sure how my partner feels about that. I guess I really don't think he is serious about the whole thing. We are planning on going to a Marriage Restored weekend the beginning of June. If he really takes me and participates and is serious about the whole thing I may be convinced then. Right now I just feel like he is biding his time until it is safe to cheat again. I hate feeling stupid and that's how I feel. It will be a long time before I trust him to not make me feel stupid again.

On a side note, I am always looking at LaDonna's facebook. Yeah, stupid, I know. It's like an addiction. I want to know why she is so much better then me that he had to go to her, text her, and look at her pictures. She posted today, "So confused right now :(". Your so confused???? You were the one fucking around with my husband and then when he didn't want you anymore you went and jumped into the next pair of pants that let you. And he must be just as stupid. He just met you at a freakin grocery store. How pathetic are you? And you think your confused? Let's call it for what it is, stupidity. I'm the one that's confused. Your just stupid.

Sorry. That was my rant for the day.