We had a great weekend! We talked a lot about all that had happened but in a playful way. And had great sex! Is this ok? Is this moving forward? Is it too soon? Does he think he can do it again and it will be ok in a week or so? I'm not sure what to think about it all! I want to be happy and go back to normal, but I don't want normal! I want us to have a better relationship, not the same.
How do we make our relationship better? I'm so afraid we will start fighting again, or I won't have sex with him as much as he needs, or I'll be disrespectful. I can't do everything right all the time. I know he will be understanding. He doesn't expect me to be perfect. But what if he gets tired of my mistakes? I feel like all the pressure is on me. I know he is trying to keep himself away from trouble but if I had been doing my job to begin with he may have never done it.
How do I stop thinking about him with Marsha and LaDonna? Wondering if he is really telling the truth about how bad it was. If it was so awful why did he keep going back? He says he doesn't know. I just wish I could get in his head and figure out what he was thinking. They must have done something he liked to make him keep going. He said he did it with LaDonna cause she was willing. Some of the things he tells me makes me think she is one stupid slut. Hello? Is that what he wants? I like to think I'm a pretty intelligent person. It kinda feels like a slap to my personality.
I want to be happy with him again but I want to fix what was wrong with our marriage first. Does he think it needs to be fixed also? Or is this just my anxieties over him cheating? I wish things were more clear and not so complicated.
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